Your Chore personality
quiz results are in!
You are…
a team player
Here are your 3 simple steps you* can take to getting more teamwork at home
* There might be a loud voice yelling “BUT FIX MY PARTNER!!!” Your partner is definitely a huge part of the problem at home, but getting them to change is a whole different thing (and if you are interested in this, stay tuned, because I have the couples’ program for you).
For now, I want to give you tools that make you feel more in control, that help you to make real changes at home, and that empower you.
Step 1: Know the Characteristics of Your Chore Personality
You've figured out how to trust your partner.
Even though it means they might not do it they way you do, and might not do it at all sometimes, you treat them as an equal partner capable of figuring it out.
You have also learned to advocate for yourself and your own needs, making sure that you don't keep quiet to keep the peace.
You might not have it all figured out all the time, but most of the time it feels like you've found a good balance.
Even though you guys are mostly on the same page, sometimes you wish that your partner could take over a little more of the mental load. That’s the stuff that happens behind the scenes: the noticing what has to happen, the tracking doctor’s appointments, the ordering clothes when the kids have grown out of them.
we all have things to work on we don’t like to acknowledge.
(mine is not slamming cabinets)
Read on to put your chore personality to work to get teamwork at home!
Step 2: A quick step to take towards lasting change
There is one step you can take right now to feel more like a team with your partner. Even though you have found a great balance, you still sometimes struggle to be clear about who-is-doing-what and might not find time to touch base.
Take a moment now to reach out to your partner to schedule an hour-long Household Business meeting. This is a chance for you guys to plan the upcoming weeks and make sure everyone is on the same page. If you have kids, you might have to plan it when the kids are at daycare, or when you have a sitter, to make sure you aren’t interrupted.
Step 3: Communication tips for the chore visionary
When you find yourself feeling resentful, remember that resentment is an emotion that signals we are feeling envious of what the other person is getting.
This isn’t a signal that they need to stop getting the good stuff — it’s a signal that you WANT MORE good stuff! Listen to this important emotion. It’s showing you that there’s a boundary you need to set and there’s something you need to ask for.
For example, if you find you’re resentful that your partner is going out with his friends every Friday night, that might mean that you need to make plans with your friends on Saturday night.
Instead of: “I can’t believe you spent all Friday night out with your friends.”
Try this: “I’m thinking of making plans with friends this Saturday afternoon. Does that work? That means I’ll need you to plan and cook dinner on Saturday.”
what else can you do?
Buy the “divy up chores like a boss (without being the boss)” ebook
Go beyond these first steps and put these exciting next steps into place even if you aren’t sure your partner will be on board.
Implement changes in your house that will work for you based on your unique Chore Personality!
Learn my 4 part system to get rid of the heavy mental load
Create a Clarity List that gives you a snapshot of who is doing what so we can decide the best next step for you
This downloadable workbook is $57 in my shop...
But you can get a copy NOW for only $17!
You might be thinking...
“I don’t wanna make a list of who is doing what. I already do too much and it will make me feel worse than I do already.”
I know you’re suffering and unhappy with how things currently are. While you might be scared that looking at it on paper will make you feel worse, the truth is that it actually will make you feel more in control. When you work through this workbook you’ll also have my voice with you giving you tips on next steps.
I’ve learned how to feel like my partner has my back and we’re a team. I want to help others find the same.
It is possible. This is a huge and important step on your journey.
Hi, I’m Sarah.
Ten years ago I found myself exhausted by the list of things that I needed to do around the house. I was constantly reminding my husband what he needed to do, and managing the to-do list for both of us.
This lead me to feel resentful and irritated. But maybe worse, I started to feel like my husband was more like a child than a partner. (Obviously this is a pretty big romance killer.)
Since then I’ve been studying this problem, attending therapy, and learning why we end up in these cycles. My husband and I are unstuck, feel closer than ever, and have a fair division of household responsibilities.
That’s why I’m here.
I want to help others experience this feeling of connectedness and teamwork. And that’s why I created this ebook for you!
Does any of this sound familiar?
You’re angry you don’t get enough help with the household chores but don’t know how to fix it
Romance and sex are next to impossible because you don’t feel seen, valued or supported by your partner
You feel like you do the bulk of the household work and you’re resentful of it
You are exhausted by the mental load of the remembering and noticing and keeping track of everything
If you caught yourself nodding along, this workbook is for you
Inside this Workbook, you’ll:
Use your Chore Personality to make changes: I go in depth to help you understand your personal style and how to use that information with tailor-made steps to bring you more teamwork at home
Identify how much you are doing: Did you know that womxn tend to UNDERESTIMATE what they do in the household while men OVERESTIMATE it? For us to really fight those internalized biases we need real, cold data. My Clarity List will make it clear what’s actually on your plate and what your partner does.
Learn how to offload the mental load: stop being the only one doing the noticing, planning, and organizing! I’ll teach you how to use my 4 Step system to hand over some of the mental load!