an online course for couples

An online course that helps couples go from keeping score of household chores to having a gameplan they can use as a team.

You’re tired of asking for help and still doing everything

You married your best friend, so why does it feel that you’re alone in getting things done in the house? Your partner helps out a lot, but you feel resentful that they don’t understand how much you do. You’re tired of being the only one carrying a list in your head of everything you have to get done.

Your partner tells you, “I’ll help if you just ask” but you’re frustrated that they can’t jump in and do it without you telling them what to do. You keep asking for change, but nothing you have tried has evened the playing field.

You want a partnership at home that feels equal, supportive, and collaborative. You want your partner to recognize how much you do.

Imagine if...

Imagine if...

 Instead of keeping track of who is doing more, imagine feeling like you were on a team with someone you trust to get it done

Imagine what would change:

  • You wouldn’t have to keep track of tasks to ask your partner to do

  • You wouldn’t have to remind your partner to do chores

  • Your partner would be responsible for “mental tasks” like scheduling dentist appointments, scheduling and taking your kiddo to well checks, and registering for day care

  • You would feel connected and loving instead of adversarial and resentful

  • You would feel valued and cared for

Ditch the Scorecard was created for couples who are tired of feeling unappreciated, combative, and misunderstood so they can get on the same page and fairly distribute the household labor

i have totally been in your shoes, and i have found my way out

My breaking point was the trash. It was my husband’s chore. Yet it filled up, and week after week my husband didn’t take it out even though he said he would. I would give in, empty it, make some snarky comments, and we’d start again.

Finally I had had enough. I decided I would not empty it no matter what. It filled. It overflowed. I moved it to the garage and out of the kitchen. It continued to overflow. Trash covered the floor of the garage. Then, it happened: I thought about the dreaded “divorce” word for the first time.

I knew if things didn’t change we were over. We started couples therapy and we figured out a system to share the job of running the household fairly, where there is no one “in charge.” Since then, I have been studying this problem and working with my own therapy clients to help them make changes. I want to help more than just the folks who end up on my couch, so I created this program for folks like you.

Hey folks, my name’s Sarah

Together, I’m going to teach you what I learned so you won’t have to feel unseen, unappreciated or resentful any longer.

This program will help you to rebuild your team and put you on the path to connection and collaboration.

What Folks say about sarah

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A 7-module course, with new lessons and downloadable resources delivered once a week, with lifetime access.

HERE’S WHAT’S INCLUDED in Ditch the scorecard:

  • Guidance: concise video lessons walk you through exactly what you need to know step-by-step

  • Practice: Weekly homework, broken into manageable chunks with downloadables to reference, makes it all feel doable

  • Skills: videos and scripts teach you to improve communication and decrease hurtful behaviors

  • Tools: a thorough workbook helps you assign household tasks ranging from vacuuming to planning birthday parties

  • Understanding: learn how sexism shows up in everybody’s responses to chores, and how to make changes

  • Structure: we will create a functioning business structure for your household so everyone knows their role and responsibilities

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What’s it like to work with me?

 You’ve read the books, you’ve argued with your partner, you’ve tried this before and nothing has changed. So why would this program work?

Most books and programs out there focus on teaching the person skills who is most bothered by the lack of equity at home — usually the woman. Then she is left to try to get her partner on board to make the changes.

Across the board, folks tell me that when they try to make household labor more equitable it doesn’t last. Their partners get upset and shut down. Or the change only lasts a week. Or the partners shoot back with defensive comments like “well, you don’t recognize what I DO do” to shut the conversation down.

I get it.

Here’s the thing. Sometimes it takes someone outside of the relationship to provide objective education for partners to buy in. That’s why this course if for couples to complete together.

As a Ph.D. with twenty years in the field under my belt, I can provide the expertise to help guide you both back to being collaborative.

Meet The Program

  • Module 1: The Household Business

    Your household is as complex as a business so let’s honor that. We set up the structure for your household for success.

  • Module 2: Create collaboration

    Decide how you want to spend your time and energy based on your family values. Finally get on the same page.

  • Module 3: What's stopping you

    Identify the beliefs from your family and society that keep the household unbalanced. Your partner’s behavior isn’t as personal as it seems.

  • Module 4: Assign Tasks

    Using a workbook to walk you through step-by-step, assign tasks for maximum success.

  • Module 5: Common Pitfalls

    Learn how perfection and productivity set you up for fights, and use scripts to learn how to talk about the tough stuff.

  • Module 6: Big Feelings

    Learn how to manage big feelings that come up around chores.

  • Module 7: Staying on Track

    Learn the 5 steps to keep up the momentum you’ve built!

Join me to create a gameplan for your division of household labor that will lead you to feeling warmth and connection with your partner again

You want to feel connected, seen and validated again. You want to feel that running the household is something you are doing as a team. You are ready to feel you can trust your partner to get done what they tell you they will do. You want a future where your kids see you working as a team to share the household chores.

You are ready for more equity, appreciation, and warmth in your relationship.

 PURCHASE OPTIONS

Ditch the Scorecard

7 Modules
Video lessons
Downloadable Scripts
12 page Workbook

ONE TIME PAYMENT OF

$597 USD

Ditch the Scorecard VIP

Ditch the Scorecard
AND
One 45 minute one-on-one video couples coaching call

ONE TIME PAYMENT OF

$897 USD

This program is a good fit if you are:

  • Ready for long lasting change.

  • Willing to adapt and adjust the way you interact with your partner

  • Curious about how sexism and patriarchy play a role in household inequities

  • Wanting encouragement and hope

  • Someone who identifies as LGBTQIA+

This program is not a good fit if you are:

  • Looking to prove your partner is doing it all wrong

  • Wanting someone to fix your partner

  • Dealing with verbal or physical abuse

  • Unwilling to look at and change your own behaviors

  • Someone (or married to someone) who values traditional family gender roles

Testimonial Headline

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

  • The VIP Ditch the Scorecard program provides one coaching call where we can work on problems specific to your relationship. If you run into technical difficulties, please email me and I will respond to you within business hours.

  • You will receive one new module at the beginning of each week to help you stay on track. I encourage you to set aside one hour, one day a week to work together on the program. Each module contains a video that is no longer than 30 minutes and homework to do.

    The material is provided over time to allow you opportunity to practice in between modules. However, should you choose, you can do multiple modules at one time, though it is not recommended.

    Best of all, you have lifetime access to all the modules!

  • At this time I do not offer additional payment plans. Scholarships are available to the BIPOC community for $200 off.

  • I recommend setting aside one hour, one day a week, that the two of you can watch the videos and work on the homework without distraction.

    You’ll also be practicing informally throughout the week the skills you learn.

  • While having kids definitely strains the division of household labor, all coupleswho are interested in improving their communication, collaboration, and understanding of themselves can benefit from this program.

  • Thank you so much for your interest in Ditch the Scorecard]! This program is specifically designed to address gender roles that step from society’s teachings. If you are interested in learning about your own internalized messages of sexism and patriarchy, and want tools to better distribute household labor, anddon’t mind that some content may not perfectly apply to you, I’d love to share this with you!

  • If you’re not satisfied for any reason (or just decide this isn’t the right fit for you after all) you can request a partial refund within 90 days of purchase. Your refund amount will be pro-rated based on how many modules have been received. Our team will approve or deny your request within 7 days.

 It’s time to feel like a team with your partner!

You don’t want to wait another month to share the responsibility of the household and feel like your partner understands your needs.

Why wait a second longer? Ready for a breakthrough? It’s time to find the help you’ve been waiting for