Your Chore personality
quiz results are in!
You are…
an action taker
Here are your 3 simple steps you* can take to getting more teamwork at home
* There might be a loud voice yelling “BUT FIX MY PARTNER!!!” Your partner is definitely a huge part of the problem at home, but getting them to change is a whole different thing (and if you are interested in this, stay tuned, because I have the couples’ program for you).
For now, I want to give you tools that make you feel more in control, that help you to make real changes at home, and that empower you.
Step 1: Know the Characteristics of Your Chore Personality
Your strength is your ability to push through and get shit done.
When others might give up or run out of steam, you are knocking things off your to-do list.
You have a strong work ethic, and leave the world in a better place than you found it.
You notice the things that need to get done when others don’t.
Your ability to do all the things is your super skill and you might expect others to be equally capable. You might expect the same amount of work from others and get disappointed. Sometimes your super skill means it's hard to rest and you resent people that prioritize rest. You tend to want to do all the work first before rest and expect others to do the same.
we all have things to work on we don’t like to acknowledge.
(mine is not slamming cabinets)
Read on to put your chore personality to work to get teamwork at home!
Step 2: A quick step to take towards lasting change
There is one step you can take right now to feel more like a team with your partner. We’ve been taught over and over that “practice makes perfect” with the idea that we should be perfect. This is so not true. No one is perfect. Trying to be will make you exhausted and resentful towards your partner who might not be trying to be perfect.
“Perfect” also implies that there is a “right” and “wrong” way to be. For better or worse, there is almost never a “right” or “wrong” way to do things, and labelling how your partner does things as “wrong” creates division, judgement and shame in the relationship.
There is one step right now feel more like a team with your partner. Practice resting even when the chores aren't finished, and even if your partner is currently doing the chores or if the chores are not done. It doesn't make you lazy or worth any less. Resting is a way to show “I value myself.” This one change will do wonders to balancing out the effort in the household and leading you to feel less resentful.
Step 3: Communication tips for the action taker
Remember your body feels an urgency to get things done fast, which is a huge asset and benefits so many! Unfortunately, not everyone works at your pace. Acknowledge your differences by naming them.
Instead of thinking: “I can’t believe how lazy he is. I’m in here cleaning the dishes and he’s laying on the couch!”
Try saying: “Hey hon, it will be easier for me to rest if the dishes are done. Can you come and do them with me so we can both take a break?”
what else can you do?
Buy the “Divy up chores like a boss (without being the boss)!” WOrkbook
Go beyond these first steps and put these exciting next steps into place even if you aren’t sure your partner will be on board.
Implement changes in your house that will work for you based on your unique Chore Personality!
Learn my 4 part system to get rid of the heavy mental load
Create a Clarity List that gives you a snapshot of who is doing what so we can decide the best next step for you
This downloadable workbook is $57 in my shop...
But you can get a copy NOW for only $17!
You might be thinking...
“I don’t wanna make a list of who is doing what. I already do too much and it will make me feel worse than I do already.”
I know you’re suffering and unhappy with how things currently are. While you might be scared that looking at it on paper will make you feel worse, the truth is that it actually will make you feel more in control. When you work through this workbook you’ll also have my voice with you giving you tips on next steps.
I’ve learned how to feel like my partner has my back and we’re a team. I want to help others find the same.
It is possible. This is a huge and important step on your journey.
Hi, I’m Sarah.
Ten years ago I found myself exhausted by the list of things that I needed to do around the house. I was constantly reminding my husband what he needed to do, and managing the to-do list for both of us.
This lead me to feel resentful and irritated. But maybe worse, I started to feel like my husband was more like a child than a partner. (Obviously this is a pretty big romance killer.)
Since then I’ve been studying this problem, attending therapy, and learning why we end up in these cycles. My husband and I are unstuck, feel closer than ever, and have a fair division of household responsibilities.
That’s why I’m here.
I want to help others experience this feeling of connectedness and teamwork. And that’s why I created this ebook for you!
Does any of this sound familiar?
You’re angry you don’t get enough help with the household chores but don’t know how to fix it
Romance and sex are next to impossible because you don’t feel seen, valued or supported by your partner
You feel like you do the bulk of the household work and you’re resentful of it
You are exhausted by the mental load of the remembering and noticing and keeping track of everything
If you caught yourself nodding along, this workbook is for you
Inside this Workbook, you’ll:
Use your Chore Personality to make changes: I go in depth to help you understand your personal style and how to use that information with tailor-made steps to bring you more teamwork at home
Identify how much you are doing: Did you know that womxn tend to UNDERESTIMATE what they do in the household while men OVERESTIMATE it? For us to really fight those internalized biases we need real, cold data. My Clarity List will make it clear what’s actually on your plate and what your partner does.
Learn how to offload the mental load: stop being the only one doing the noticing, planning, and organizing! I’ll teach you how to use my 4 Step system to hand over some of the mental load!